I started this entry around January 19th, 2010.  That importance will become apparent later.  The reason why it never made it to the internet until now is because it took me that long to write it.  I am very out of practice at this sort of thing... 

Anyway - here goes...

When perusing my usual internet haunts the other day, I was deeply saddened to find out that Ms. Sunshine Lucas had passed away.  Though I have never met Rachel or her furry and girthy canine companion, I could completely empathize with the feelings of loss.  It reminded me of my obligation to do something that I will probably find very painful for my own furry beastie.

Back in the Spring of 1992 – on tax day to be precise, my boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s cat had a rather sizable litter of kittens.  My boyfriend at the time had recalled me wistfully reflecting on the fact that I always wanted a kitty, but was never allowed to have one growing up due to my Grandmother’s ailurophobia. I loved my grandmother, so it was a sacrifice I was willing to make until I had a place of my own. He offered to adopt one in my stead and keep it at his place.  It seemed like a good idea at the time – all the fuzziness, none of the responsibility. 

So it was that not long after we set out to pick one of the litter.  I was told there were gray fluffy ones and little short haired black ones.  The long and short of it is that I wanted a little black kitty with all my heart.  When we got to the “adoption” location, I sat on the floor and waited to be approached by one of the fur balls.  It wasn’t long before this tiny squeaky kitty with big bat ears wandered over and proceeded to attack my hand with all her might. (It was pretty damned funny…) It was all over, I was totally suckered in.

The little monster was lacking a proper name for a while.  The boyfriend wanted to call her Specter but one of his lesser mature friends started calling her Sphincter, so that name didn’t last long.  Then she started following me around the apartment all the time, and sneaking up on me. So the name became Shadow and for 17 years of my life, she was mine – well, more like I was her personal minion.

She and I, we had a bond – well, as much as anyone one person can bond with a feline overlord.  She kept me greatly amused with her love of heights, spaghetti-os and shrimp.  She used to play hide and seek with me.  She’d hide in a corner, I would sneak up and scare her, she’d jump a mile in the air and go all squirrel tailed.  Then I would run and hide and she’d find me.  The boyfriend (whom eventually became the hubster) found the whole thing highly entertaining.  When we moved out of the easy bake oven apartment and into a colonial with four floors, that game came to a fairly abrupt end.

Which reminds me – when we moved into our house we lost our Feline Overlord for a good week.  The little explorer found the one way to climb up through the walls in the basement and there she stayed.  Apparently she was pissed we moved without consulting her.  She continued to torment me until on day she fell through the drop ceiling – giving the hubster an opportunity to seal up the hole that she had used to climb in and up (by the stack.)

Life with the little troublemaker was never dull – from her climbing up on the mantle to her peering down on us from the entertainment center.  When we took her to the family cabin, she hunted for ducks, chased snakes, climbed trees and disappeared for a few days (she was camped between the mattress and the wall listening to the bats.) She would stalk us for spaghetti-os, maul us for shrimp, and trail us for cereal.  She’d chase her sisters, kick their asses and keep them in line.  She’d crab walk, hiss, puff up then two seconds later be purring.  She would sing loudly and off key and practice her vowels in the attic.  At 3 am. She’d set off the “pet proof” ADT alarm – whenever she wanted to.  And… she’d chase bats. 

At one time – a long, long, long, long, time ago, I had an online blog/diary/journal.  My very first entry had to do with her chasing a bat that had the misfortune of finding its way into our attic.  I never knew how it got there, I just knew that I heard strange thumpings and jumpings early one morning.  (Butt crack of dawn early.) Being the light sleeper I am,  I spent a good five minutes listing to kitty running and jumping before getting out of bed to cautiously investigate.  I slowly climbed the stairs to the attic and still was nearly dive bombed by the unfortunate trapped creature (and I am talking about the bat here).  Shadow kept chasing the darned thing around and leaping into the air to catch it.   Finally, we managed to knock it senseless and then kill it (though we didn’t really want to.  Shadow acted smug the rest of that day.

Then - two years ago, the little spazz monster started behaving strangely.  She would fall down the stairs; walk around in circles and act very dazed.  One night she had a seizure which caused her to fall down a flight of stairs.  I was sleeping in bed and the commotion woke me up.  She was just twitching at the bottom of the stairs and I thought she was a goner.  I called the emergency vet service and as I was talking to them, she shook it off, got up and walked away.  That was the first of many seizures – each and every one of them was heartbreaking.  It did finally get to the point where she could no longer move and we had to make the hard choice. 

The next morning we called the vet first thing and made the appointment I had been dreading for months.  We had a few hours to kill and I spent them holding my fur baby in my arms.  She was always a squirmy, anti affection kitty.  She just stayed with me that day that either way an example of how horrible she felt – or it was just her last gift to me, holding still and looking up at me with those big green eyes.  It didn’t matter what the reason, for our time was soon up.

On January 19, 2009, I kissed my kitty good bye and watched her leave us to go chase bats in the afterlife. 

Posted by: Ethne2112 at 11:48 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 1153 words, total size 7 kb.

1 oh, I just went through this late last year.  my heart is still broken. 
i'm sure Tiger The Cat® will look Shadow up and they'll get along famously. 
i'm just taking an extended break from blogging.  my head and my health are both a mess right now.  i'm retreating into my woodworking and gardening and staying away from politics and just about everything else.  i need to (at the risk of sounding too hippie like) find myself again.  i seem to have wandered off somewhere with no forwarding address and have seriously lost touch with many things that once meant much to me. 
check back once in a while.  good to hear from you again.
gregor

Posted by: gregor at June 20, 2010 02:39 PM (1jLiI)

2 Thank you for the sympathy and I am sorry to hear about Tiger the cat.  There really isn't a day that goes by that hubs and I don't muse on that silly cat.  We are now watching the health of Tigger going down hill fast. It's now just a matter of figuring out whether or not she is suffering.

As for the blogging thing, I totally understand.  The political thing took over my life and made me a much angrier person than I wanted to be.  Take the breather, get your health back to where it needs to be and take care of your self (and Mrs. Goth.) I hope to see more pictures of the revitalization of the goth home and garden.

Until then - I will miss your voice of reason.

Posted by: Ethne at June 21, 2010 12:51 PM (vKEWg)

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